D = Deputy Chief of the White House Staff
S = The Staff

  - - -
 
D:   My loyal staff, good morning!

S:   Sir, good morning.

D:   I hope you're all quite well.

S:   Quite well; and you, sir?

D:   I am in reasonable health, and happy
     To meet you all once more.

S:   You do us proud, sir!

  - - -

D:   I am a leader of the White House staff.

S:   The right hand of the G-O-P!

D:   We've important jobs to do,
     There are Democrats to screw,
     Our salute to morality.

S:   We all have jobs to do,
     We will beat them black and blue,
     Our salute to morality.

D:   You can't always play nice,
     I'll tell you twice or thrice,
     A dirty trick we please,
     But there's one game I won't play,
     Even in a subtle way,
     I won't expose agent IDs!

S:   What, never?

D:   No, never!

S:   What, never?

D:   Hardly ever!

S:   He rarely blows agents' IDs!
     Then give three cheers and evil laugh,
     For a fearless leader of the White House staff.
     Then give three cheers and evil laugh,
     For a leader of the White House staff.

  - - -

D:   Some people like to call me Bush's brain.

S:   He needs you there to even sneeze!

D:   So be glad that you are here,
     And you needn't even fear,
     Dying for the I-raq-is.

S:   We're glad that we are here,
     That others have to fear,
     Dying for the I-raq-is.

D:   No matter what I do,
     I'll still be here with you,
     I have job security.
     Ignore all that they say,
     Just trust me all the way,
     No secrets ever leak from me!

S:   What, never?

D:   No, never!

S:   What, never?

D:   Hardly ever!

S:   Few secrets ever leak from he!
     Then give three cheers and evil laugh,
     For a true-blue leader of the White House staff.
     Then give three cheers and evil laugh,
     For a leader of the White House staff.